Impostor Syndrome: Why You Feel Like a Fraud and How EMDR Therapy Helps
Impostor Thinking: Why You Feel Like a Fraud Even When You're Capable
You might have the qualifications, the experience and plenty of evidence that you are good at what you do.
You might have received positive feedback, achieved things you once hoped for, or built a career that looks successful from the outside.
And yet, part of you still feels like a fraud.
You might wonder when someone will realise they have overestimated you. You might put your achievements down to luck, timing or someone else's help. You might work harder than you need to because you are trying to make sure nobody discovers that you don't really know what you're doing.
This is often described as impostor syndrome or impostor feelings.
The confusing part is that you can be capable, experienced and successful and still genuinely feel like you aren't.
When success doesn't feel like success
Impostor syndrome isn't a formal mental health diagnosis. It is a term commonly used to describe a pattern of persistent self-doubt where a person has difficulty internalising their achievements or recognising their own competence.
A key part of the experience is the mismatch between what you can see objectively and how you feel internally. You may have evidence that you are capable, but still feel that your success isn't really yours.
It can sound like:
“I was just lucky.”
“They must have overestimated me.”
“I don't really know what I'm doing.”
“Eventually they'll realise I'm not as good as they think.”
“That achievement doesn't really count.”
“I only succeeded because I worked twice as hard.”
“I don't really deserve to be here.”
You might know, logically, that these thoughts aren't entirely fair.
But knowing something intellectually doesn't always change how it feels.
What are the signs of impostor syndrome?
Impostor feelings don't always look like insecurity. Sometimes they look like being extremely conscientious, working hard or setting very high standards for yourself.
You might:
over-prepare for meetings, presentations, exams or important conversations
spend a long time checking work that was already good enough
avoid opportunities because you don't feel ready
compare yourself with people who seem more knowledgeable
dismiss positive feedback
worry excessively about making a mistake
procrastinate because you are afraid you won't do something well
feel relief rather than pride when you finish something successfully
find it difficult to accept that an achievement was genuinely earned
feel like you need to work harder than everyone else to justify your position
Research into impostor phenomenon has identified patterns including difficulty internalising success, perfectionistic tendencies, fear of failure and an “impostor cycle” involving over-preparation or procrastination.
Why do I feel like a fraud when I'm actually successful?
This is one of the most frustrating parts of impostor syndrome.
You might be able to look at your CV and see years of experience. You might have qualifications, positive feedback, successful projects or people who trust your work.
Logically, you know the evidence is there.
But you may not experience that evidence as proof that you are capable.
Instead, you might explain it away.
You got the promotion because they needed someone.
You received good feedback because the person was being kind.
You passed the exam because you worked incredibly hard.
The project went well because you had a good team.
Someone else could do your job just as well.
This can mean that success doesn't become integrated into the way you see yourself.
You achieve something, but instead of thinking:
“I did that because I am capable.”
you might think:
“That doesn't really count.”
The achievement then provides very little protection against the next wave of self-doubt.
The impostor cycle
One reason impostor feelings can become so persistent is that the way you respond to self-doubt can accidentally keep the cycle going.
It can look something like this:
Self-doubt → over-prepare → succeed → explain away the success → self-doubt returns
You worry that you won't be good enough, so you work incredibly hard to make sure you succeed.
You succeed.
But rather than seeing that success as evidence of your ability, you attribute it to the extra hours, luck, help from others or favourable circumstances.
So the achievement doesn't really “count”.
The next challenge arrives and the original fear is still there.
This is one reason that simply achieving more doesn't necessarily make impostor feelings disappear. The problem isn't always a lack of achievement. It can be difficulty internalising achievement as evidence of your own competence.
The fear of being found out
For many people, the most distressing part isn't simply thinking:
“I'm not good enough.”
It is:
“Other people think I'm capable, but eventually they'll find out I'm not.”
That fear of being exposed can make ordinary situations feel much more threatening.
A new job, promotion, presentation, university assessment or unfamiliar responsibility can bring the feeling to the surface.
Instead of:
“I'm learning something new.”
you might experience:
“I should already know this. If I don't, people will realise I'm not competent.”
That can make it difficult to tolerate being a beginner, asking questions or admitting that you don't know something.
A mistake can then feel much bigger than a mistake.
It can feel like evidence.
Why can impostor feelings become so persistent?
There isn't one cause of impostor syndrome.
Impostor feelings can occur alongside perfectionism, anxiety, fear of failure and lower self-confidence. They can also be influenced by environments and expectations around achievement, comparison, criticism or belonging. Research has not established one simple cause that explains everyone's experience.
Sometimes there is a particular experience that still carries emotional weight.
Sometimes there isn't one obvious event at all.
It may be a collection of experiences that have influenced how you experience success, mistakes or the possibility of being “found out”.
A real-life example from SBS Insight
I was reminded of this while watching an episode of SBS Insight in which a woman spoke about cheating on two high school exams and keeping it secret for 44 years.
What struck me wasn't simply what happened. It was the shame and anxiety she described carrying long after the exams were over.
It is an example of how the meaning we attach to an experience can sometimes last much longer than the event itself.
You can know intellectually that something happened a long time ago, or that it does not define who you are now, while still experiencing a strong emotional response when the memory or meaning is activated.
Is impostor syndrome the same as low self-esteem?
They can overlap, but they aren't quite the same.
Low self-esteem is broader. It involves a more general negative evaluation of yourself or your worth, such as a persistent feeling that you are not good enough.
Impostor feelings are more specifically focused on your competence, achievements and legitimacy. You may feel that you have somehow fooled other people into believing you are more capable than you really are, despite evidence that you are successful.
You can therefore experience impostor feelings in a particular area of your life while feeling relatively confident in other areas.
For some people, however, impostor feelings sit alongside broader self-esteem concerns.
If the deeper experience for you is more about “I'm not good enough”, rather than specifically “I'm not as capable as people think I am”, my article on low self-esteem and the “not good enough” belief may be more relevant.
How EMDR therapy may help with impostor feelings
EMDR therapy isn't a specific treatment for “impostor syndrome” as a diagnosis.
However, it may be useful when persistent impostor feelings are connected with distressing experiences, anxiety, shame or negative beliefs about yourself.
EMDR therapy follows an eight-phase approach, with preparation and assessment occurring before memory processing. Early sessions involve understanding your history, identifying relevant patterns and developing the resources and skills needed to work safely.
If there are particular experiences that still seem connected with how you respond to mistakes, achievement or being evaluated, these may become part of the therapeutic work.
For example, you might identify experiences involving:
being harshly criticised for mistakes
feeling humiliated or exposed
being compared with others
failing at something that mattered deeply to you
experiencing intense pressure to perform
feeling that your achievements were never enough
feeling that you had to prove yourself to earn approval or belonging
The aim isn't to convince yourself that you are wonderful or replace every self-doubting thought with a positive affirmation.
Instead, therapy can provide a structured way to explore experiences, beliefs and emotional responses that may still be relevant to how you respond in the present.
For some people, this can mean that a mistake becomes a mistake rather than evidence that they are a fraud.
Praise may become easier to receive.
A new challenge may feel more like an opportunity to learn rather than a test of whether you deserve to be there.
And success may gradually become easier to recognise as something you genuinely contributed to.
You don't have to become completely confident
One of the traps of impostor syndrome is believing that the answer is to become completely confident.
But confidence isn't the same thing as never doubting yourself.
You can be uncertain and still participate.
You can make mistakes and still be competent.
You can ask a question without proving that you don't belong.
You can be learning something new without having been exposed as a fraud.
You don't need to eliminate every moment of self-doubt.
The goal can be to become less controlled by it.
When might it be worth getting support?
Impostor feelings are common, and experiencing them occasionally doesn't necessarily mean you need therapy.
It may be worth exploring further if self-doubt is beginning to shape the decisions you make.
For example, you might:
avoid opportunities you would actually like to pursue
work excessively to prove yourself
struggle to switch off from work or study
experience significant anxiety around performance
find it difficult to accept positive feedback
feel that your achievements never quite count
avoid being visible because you fear criticism or exposure
experience intense distress when you make mistakes
repeatedly feel like you don't belong despite evidence of your competence
Therapy can provide space to understand what is happening rather than simply trying to talk yourself out of it.
Frequently asked questions
What is impostor syndrome?
Impostor syndrome, also called impostor phenomenon, describes a pattern of self-doubt where someone has difficulty internalising their achievements or competence and may fear being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of success. It is not a formal mental health diagnosis.
Why do I feel like a fraud when I'm actually successful?
Impostor feelings can involve discounting positive evidence and attributing achievements to luck, timing, hard work or help from others rather than recognising your own ability. This can make it difficult for success to change the way you see yourself.
What are the signs of impostor syndrome?
Signs can include difficulty accepting praise, dismissing achievements, fear of being found out, over-preparing, perfectionism, procrastination, comparing yourself with others and feeling undeserving of your success.
Is impostor syndrome the same as low self-esteem?
No, although they can overlap. Low self-esteem is broader and concerns how you evaluate yourself and your worth. Impostor feelings are more specifically concerned with competence, achievement and the fear that other people have overestimated your abilities.
Can EMDR therapy help with impostor feelings?
EMDR may be helpful when persistent impostor feelings are connected with distressing experiences, anxiety, shame or negative beliefs about yourself. It isn't a specific treatment for impostor syndrome, but it can be used to work with experiences and patterns that may be contributing to current distress.
Do I need to know exactly where my impostor feelings came from?
No. You don't necessarily need to identify one particular event or cause before beginning therapy. Exploring the situations that trigger impostor feelings and how you respond to them can be a useful starting point.
You don't have to keep proving that you belong
Feeling like a fraud can be exhausting, particularly when the feeling doesn't match the evidence.
You may have spent years collecting qualifications, working hard, achieving things and trying to make sure you don't get found out.
But the next achievement doesn't necessarily resolve the fear.
Sometimes the work isn't about becoming more accomplished.
It is about being able to recognise your own competence without needing to continually prove it.
It is about being able to make a mistake without treating it as evidence that you don't belong.
And it is about allowing success to count.
“I feel like a fraud” is a feeling, not a fact.
If persistent self-doubt, fear of being found out or difficulty recognising your own achievements is affecting your life, therapy can provide space to explore the pattern and what may be underneath it.
Learn more about EMDR therapy.
Warming Light Counselling provides EMDR therapy for adults in Adelaide and online across Australia.
